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Need - Torchwood Fanfiction

Title: Need
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Warning: Spoilers up to Cyberwoman
Rating: R
Wordcount: Approx 2000

Summary: Its not what Ianto wants but what he needs that matters.

It has been so easy.

To get what he wanted. No, not what he wanted. He had never wanted this.

Ianto had never wanted the stain of the death of two innocents on his soul. Never wanted to sleepwalk through his days - an automaton made of skin and bone, mindlessly, mechanically carrying out his joke of a role on the Torchwood Three staff.

Empty the rubbish, muck out the weevils, answer the phones, deflect the tourists, make the coffee, ignore the faux sympathetic smile on Gwen's face, the way that Owen can make a simple thank you sound like traitor, pretend that Tosh flinching away from you with a nervous smile whenever you move too close to her doesn't hurt you so badly that you struggle to breathe.

No all he had ever wanted was Lisa. Lisa, whole and safe, curled up in his arms in their poky little London flat. All he wanted was the life he had before the stuff of children's' nightmares had come screaming to life and invaded his waking world.

What he'd gotten instead was his very own monster gazing lovingly at him with borrowed eyes. His angel, his brave, beautiful Lisa whispering honeyed lies to him, draped in the flesh of an innocent girl. His life and soul ripped apart by a hail of bullets tearing through flesh and bone set to the mournful Greek chorus of the pterodactyl's shrieks.

No. This wasn't what Ianto had wanted. But it was what he needed.

Jack. That was what he needed. Jack on his side, Jack by his side. It had been far easier than he had ever imagined in his darkest moments to segue from "teaboy" to lover. He'd strategically planned every single minute detail of the seduction, obsessed over nothing else night after night as he sat clad in only his boxer shorts on his kitchen floor, the cold of the tiles leeching the warmth from his body, back and neck protesting at being pressed against the unforgiving sharp edges of his kitchen units. But he didn't care. The discomfort had centred him, allowed him to focus on his task.

The task? Seducing Captain Jack Harkness. He'd started simply enough. First he'd been suitably contrite over his recent behaviour endangering the Hub and its personnel and well OK the world in general by harbouring the very last of the Cybermen. He'd looked forlorn in Jack's presence and repeated practiced apologies over and over until even he almost began to believe them himself, never once shrinking from the cold steel of Jack's gaze. He'd done every menial task asked of him with an evangelical zeal so that his seeming gratitude at still having a job and not finding himself dumped in some god forsaken Welsh village with no memory would never be in question.

And he'd been oh so very grateful to Jack. For his understanding and for his patience. For giving him a second chance Ianto had rewarded Jack with shy gentle smiles and self-conscious but adoring glances which lingered far too long to leave Jack in any doubt as to Ianto's feelings for him. He'd brushed his fingers against Jack's in a gentle caress when handing over cups of coffee and would lean, supposedly without thinking, into his rock solid warmth whenever Jack stood too close to him. And he wouldn't care he didn't care he didn't about the times when Jack would look at him and the professional demeanour would slip, just for a moment to reveal the depth of his hurt and disappointment at Ianto's actions.

And soon enough he'd had a new set of tasks to keep him occupied. Check the mail, feed the Weevils, replenish the stocks of retcon, fetch Jack his coffee and morning muffin, get down on his knees, open Jack's fly, pull out his penis and stroke it into hardness, your stomach roiling at the thought of so intimately touching the man who had so calmly ordered her execution, slide it past your lips, into your mouth feeling the unfamiliar weight on your tongue, pushing it deeper into your throat as Jack hoarsely shouts his encouragement above you as you choke back feelings of supreme humiliation at being on your knees, willingly servicing the man who destroyed your world and never once expressed an ounce of remorse. And once he's finished all he felt was empty triumph at the culmination of a carefully orchestrated plan. He wasn't moved by the unguarded expression on Jack's face, the open honest smile, the unforced laugh, the feel of Jack rhythmically stroking his fingers through his hair gentling him, calming him, loving him.

And once he had Jack's complete trust Ianto knew precisely what he would do. He would make Jack feel as hopeless and wretched as he had felt as he watched the pterodactyl tear chunks of flesh away from the exposed body of the woman he loved, make him feel the paralysed horror he had felt as the bullets had found their target over and over again leaving him with nothing but a bloody carcass to weep over. Make Jack feel the white hot agony that he lived with every single waking moment of every day until Captain Jack fucking Harkness was reduced to nothing more than a mewling heap of flesh - fresh meat for their macabre pet to play with. After all he did have a promise to keep.

Yes it had been so easy to get what he wanted. And it had lead him here. On his back, naked and vulnerable, in the dark waiting for Jack. Ianto squirmed slightly on Jack's uncomfortable military issue cot, the rusted springs protesting loudly. Jack's quarters were cramped and Spartan, the air heavy with the musty scent of dust and mildew. Ianto had expected Jack's room to be decadent with rich fabrics and colours, a bedroom befitting of a man whose alleged sexual escapades would put Casanova and Don Juan to shame. But there was no warmth in Jack's room, no personal touches offering a glimpse of the real Captain Jack Harkness, of the man hidden behind his chosen armour of heavy wool and fake Hollywood smiles. The room looked empty and unlived in, completely untouched by Jack's presence.

Ianto started slightly at the sound of Jack's footsteps making their way down the ladder, at his sharp intake of breath as he made out Ianto's naked form in the murky gloom.

"Ianto". Jack's voice was a rich purr as he moved closer to the bed toeing of his shoes as he went. Ianto remained silent fearing that to speak would be to give away his uncertainty over the situation and he needed Jack to believe that there was nothing more Ianto wanted than to be lying in Jack's bed. He was doing this for Lisa. He was.

Jack stripped off his clothes quickly and efficiently as if aware that Ianto wasn't interested in drawing the moment out. The time for teasing was over. He climbed onto the narrow bed resting his thighs either side of Ianto's, his presence a solid, and reassuring weight radiating warmth. Ianto was horrified to realise that he wanted to lean into that warmth, wanted to wrap his arms around Jack's chest and lay his head on his shoulder and…..

"You're shaking Ianto". Jack admonished gently stroking a finger along the mottled flesh of Ianto's forearm.

"Just nervous Sir." Ianto responded, voice catching slightly in his throat.

"Oh Ianto." Jack's voice was soft and tinged with affection. "Nothing to be nervous about. We won't do anything you don't want to. I won't hurt you . You know that right?"

Memories of an enraged Jack holding his gun to Ianto's head and threatening to execute him surfaced but Ianto pushed them aside. They were of no help here.

"Of course sir."

"Ianto, Ianto, my eternally polite Ianto. I want you to call me Jack when we're together like this. Not sir. Well….for now anyway."

Ianto swallowed heavily, cock hardening at the images that flooded his head. He tried to shake them off, to focus of one image only, that of Jack screaming in pain but it was difficult with Jack's hands sliding sensuously down his sides causing him to shudder in response, with Jack's mouth nibbling on his neck .

"Oh Ianto the things I want to do to you." Jack whispered directly in Ianto's ear breath hot on the side of his face. Jack wet his thumb with his tongue moving over to slide the moistened digit over Ianto's dry lips. He rubbed gently back and forth, back and forth while he dropped feather light kisses on the side of Ianto's jaw. Jack slid his free hand lower stroking it over the length of Ianto's penis, fingers lifting and seeking out the sensitive skin beneath. Ianto moaned, back arching as Jack pushed his thumb into Ianto's mouth. Conflicted and too tired to think Ianto began thrusting in earnest into Jack's grip whilst sucking on the invading digit in his mouth.

"Good boy, beautiful boy" Jack moaned as he began to move his hand in time with Ianto's thrusts. Ianto could feel the pressure building, nerve ends sparking, his entire being focused on Jack's skilled hands. Ianto came with a cry, back arching so hard he thought it would snap, Jack's thumb slipping wetly from his mouth. He fell back on to the thin mattress, breath coming in pained pants as Jack shushed and fussed over him. It was too hard, so hard to hate with Jack above him whispering soothing nonsense in his ears, making him feel special, making him…feel. And he was so very, very tired.

Jack kissed him, a kiss that spoke of many more kisses to come. Ianto lost himself in it, in the feel of their lips sliding over each others, tongues duelling for dominance. It felt real, he felt real. It felt wonderful.

Jack's hand slid lower between Ianto's legs, finger pausing at the delicate skin of Ianto's entrance.

"Are you sure?" Jack whispered. Ianto laughed, a desperate maniacal sounding laugh that had Jack withdrawing instantly. Was he sure? He'd never been surer of anything in his life. Why he wanted it was another matter entirely.

Realising that he's freaking the hell out of Jack Ianto sprang forward, recapturing his mouth and kissing him deeply and passionately.

"Yes Jack" he murmured into Jack's mouth. "I'm sure".

The feel of Jack's finger breaching him caused him to stiffen with surprise. "It's OK Ianto, its OK." Ianto was beginning to reconsider his resolve when Jack crooked his finger inside him. He wasn't sure who his scream surprised more, Jack or himself. Jack laughed affectionately the sound making Ianto's toes curl with pleasure. Jack added another finger to the first scissoring them inside Ianto's body while he shuddered and whimpered in Jack's arms. Eventually Jack withdrew, his hands stroking the inside of Ianto's thighs manipulating him into the correct position until Ianto was lying there open and spread for Jack's pleasure.

Ianto forced an image of Lisa's face into his mind but it kept fading to be replaced by Jack, Jack smiling as he bought him his coffee, Jack instantly looking to him for support in any argument, Jack gazing at him in awe as Ianto slides to his knees in front of him.

Oblivious to Ianto's inner turmoil Jack moved forward slowly sheathing his length inside Ianto's body. The feel of Jack inside him is too much for Ianto. It's just all too much, Jack above him, Jack inside him, he can't think clearly. Jack urges him to hook his legs behind his back and he complies, he has always been good with orders. Jack bends down and kisses him forcefully pushing Ianto into the bed with every maddeningly slow stroke. Ianto's whole body tingles as Jack hits that sensitive spot inside him over and over again. It's too much and it will be his undoing, he knows that and yet he can't bring himself to move away. Betrayed by his traitorous body which seems oh so hungry for Jack's attentions Ianto gives in completely to the sensations overwhelming him. As he comes he feels something hard and unyielding inside him shatter into a million pieces as the agonies of the past few months become too much for him to bear. It isn't until he feels Jack's hands stroking his face that he even realises that he is weeping. Exhausted Ianto lays his head on Jack's shoulder, nuzzling sleepily into his body as Jack puts his arm around him kissing him lovingly on the forehead.

No that isn't what Ianto wanted. But maybe it is what he needs.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 1st, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
Really, really enjoyed that, the twist from seducer to seduced.
Apr. 3rd, 2007 12:07 am (UTC)
Aw thank you. I know it's not really your pairing of choice but I'm really pleased that you liked it. It's taken a while to finish it simply because work rather intervened so its nice to know that people enjoyed it.
Apr. 3rd, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
I'll read most stuff that's well written. Most TW stuff isn't.

But this was.
Apr. 4th, 2007 08:07 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. This was really amazing.
I'm so keeping this for re-reading.
Apr. 4th, 2007 09:33 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for commenting - I'm really pleased that you liked it!
Apr. 5th, 2007 03:20 am (UTC)
Nice. I like how he tries to hold on to his anger but he just can't.
Apr. 5th, 2007 03:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you - I'm glad you liked it. I think Ianto needs Jack as someone to focus his anger on - but ultimately that sort of anger is just draining which is why he just ends up leaning on Jack at the end.
Apr. 10th, 2007 12:25 pm (UTC)
Fairy, you're famous!! You've got a quote in SFX re Torchwood improvements!
Apr. 10th, 2007 01:11 pm (UTC)
I have? Well that's kind of awesome. What issue is it in? I do have the one with the magnets on the front (because I am a total girl) but I haven't read it properly yet.

Apr. 10th, 2007 01:26 pm (UTC)
The latest one, with Spiderman on the cover. It got posted through today.

My son opened it, read it and says, "isn't she on your journal?"
Apr. 12th, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC)
That was very, very good--somewhat twisted, extremely hot, and ultimately believable. I especially liked the metamorphosis of Ianto from a broken, calcuating seducer to the (granted, still broken,) surprised seductee. Very nicely done.
Apr. 12th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
I liked this a lot.
It makes sense to me that Ianto would hold on to the grief and anger, not giving away a thing. And the emotional shift when he finally lets go of it all in Jack's arms, I found that rather moving.
Plus - it's hot... *g*
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )